Saturday, July 19, 2014

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (Movie Review)

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower
Director : Stephen Chbosky
Starring : Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Ezra Miller, etc.
Based On : Stephen Chbosky's The Perks Of Being A Wallflower
Production Company : Mr. Mudd
Release Date : September 21st 2012
Running Time : 103 Minutes
Genre : Young Adult, Contemporary

Buy it on Amazon | Buy the book on Book Depository

Based on the novel written by Stephen Chbosky, this is about a 15-year-old Charlie (Logan Lerman), an endearing and naive outsider, coping with first love, the suicide of his best friend, and his own mental illness while struggling to find a group of people with whom he belongs. The introvert freshman is taken under wings of two seniors Sam (Emma Watson) and Patrick (Ezra Miller), who welcome him to the real world.

 Review
I don't know what's a wallflower is, at first. But then i looked it up on Google and it said : "In social situations, a wallflower is a shy or unpopular individual who doesn't socialize or participate in activities at social events. He or she may have other talents but usually does not express them in the presence of other individuals" After reading that, i wanted to see the film, because i'm sort of like that.

Hmmm... The movie is not what i expected it to be. The movie really focuses on Life, actually. The mental illness, high school social statues, and some other parts that i don't want to point out. I thought it's going to be like a usual Contemporary, but it's not. 

I can relate to the social status, when i'm watching, i was like "Oh, i've been through that before." and i like it. It's like a message to the world about introverted people.

Everyone really loved this move but, sadly, i wasn't hooked to the movie. Before all of you goes tantrums, let me just say that it's normal. I never really enjoyed that kind of movies. The one that really focuses on Life and other problems, i just don't know why. I'm kind of uncomfortable.

I thought this movie was going to intrigued me but, i don't know, it didn't, but i want to know of what happens to the ending. This movie is a bit sad but i didn't cry and the ending was confusing, i have to say. I'm just being honest, maybe they could have define it more of what was going to happen because it would've make it more understandable, well at least for me.

This movie is leaning on a find-who-you-are story. A story where we basically have to find, well, who we actually are. For that aspect, it's really good. Charlie is not the same Charlie anymore like from the beginning of the movie. And he finds who he is, and i'm proud of him for facing all those obstacles. 

Logan Lerman did a great job at acting as Charlie. The awkwardness and when he's quiet. It's like he really is a wallflower, it's like he didn't act at all. I'm really glad Logan Lerman is Charlie. I also liked Emma Watson as Sam. A bit weird because i've known her from Harry Potter and- let's just say Harry Potter and The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is different.

How do you explain this, but i didn't really care for the characters. Like there's a scene in the movie where Charlie is just in danger, i was sad but at the same time i was "Eh," i would feel something if something happens to them, but it's like they're my friend's father's uncle's aunt's friend, i would just be like "Ohmygod, i'm so sorry." then just okay.

The soundtrack but was pretty decent. I liked the songs and you guys should check it out. I didn't like old songs, though, and there's a couple in the soundtrack. 

The cover is very beautiful. The three friends together, Sam's head is on Charlie's shoulder and Patrick was smiling over there. The green wall behind them was what i like most though. It's like the book's cover and they translated it. Without the actors in the poster, it's good too.

I don't know if i'm going to read the book, though. The story didn't grab me and some says it's a good book-to-movie adaptations so i think watching the movie alone already have the main plot of the story. And the book is really small so i guess translating it to 103 minutes wouldn't be very difficult.

Overall i gave this movie a THREE out of FIVE stars. In my number scale, i gave it a 58 points. Very low, i know. I was regretting making this post at first but i made a blog so i can share my feelings to the world. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, i really liked the title. You'll probably like this movie, everyone seems to think that, so i recommend you give it a try.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins (Book Review)

Lola and the Boy Next Door
Author : Stephanie Perkins
Series : Anna and the French Kiss #2
Pub Date : September 29th 2011
Publishers : Dutton
Genre : Romance, Contemporary
Pages : 338

Add it in Goodreads | Buy it on Book Depository

Budding designer Lola Nolan doesn't believe in fashion... she believes in costume. The more expressive the outfit--more sparkly, more fun, more wild--the better. But even though Lola's style is outrages, she's a devoted daughter and friend with some big plans for the future. And everything is pretty perfect (right down to her hot rocker boyfriend) until the dreaded Bell twins, Calliope and Cricket, return to the neighborhood.
When Cricket--a gifted inventor--steps out from his twin sister's shadow and back into Lola's life, she must finally reconcile a lifetime of feelings for the boy next door.

Review
I just can't stop loving Stephanie Perkins's works! This book definitely reached my expectations, way reached my expectations! The familiar awkwardness and the love was so epic and adorable, i cannot put this book down. I read and read and read and i'm satisfied! This book is really satisfying for a companion novel.

Why can't Isla come soooonnnerr? I NEED IT. I NEED THE LOVE AND THE CUTESY AND THE WHATNOW. Even though i'm satisfied with the story, i need more of Stephanie Perkins. 

You guys who haven't read any of Stephanie Perkins book might be surprised. You might think that we fans are crazy for her and we just can't stop. But once you read it, it's like a drug... but in a good way, which is kind if confusing. This series is very addicting, very addicting.

The characters here is very unique, in some ways. The parents, the neighbors, the main character is very unique. And i love that. What really stands out in this book for me is, maybe, the character's background story. Their past is very interesting. It's like a book where they have to go through the future, with their past beside them. So it was very entertaining to see how she have to solve all this problems and just wow. 

WAIT, i forgot to tell you! Anna and St. Clair has a role in this book! Which is super exciting to meet familiar faces that i really loved. It's good to see them, even though i can't really see them, just on my mind. It's good to hear them, although i can't really hear them, just read their dialogues and you just get that warmth feeling when they're around.

My favourite character here is probably... Cricket? Sorry Lola but Cricket is just loveable and very sweet, it's like he would do anything for her and his family, he's so patient and smart. Lola is great too but sometimes i don't understand why she did that, like Cricket is the one not Max!

At first, i didn't like Lola because i thought she's like a super girly girl. But nope, she's not that and very different from that.. i think. And i thought Cricket is like those boys who likes playing pranks and very humoristic at the same time. But again, i was wrong.

I think i didn't hate anyone here... except for Max. I mean, some characters has a bad background but in the end, they're all good though. I ended up loving them too, like Calliope and Norah. There's some characters that i'm okay with, but aside from Max, i think there's none that i hate.

The character development here is pretty good too. And also the message of this story is very good too. I like how Stephanie Perkins put in messages to us in hints of paragraph. In this book, i learn to be myself and about facing the truth and that good stuff. 

There's quote that you just have to gush. Many times this book made me laugh and many times this book made me just gush so loudly and put a smile on my face! I'm serious, at some parts, I MELTED. Right, melted. Because of the cutesy and the epic romance and ughhhhh. 

The cover is fantastical. I can only say this : Good job, publishing companies. I liked this more than Anna's cover. I just really liked the colour scheme and the star in this book. If you've read the book, you will look at the star differently. And the San Francisco's bridge, which i really adore. But the colour scheme, though, that's my favourite. 

You may think that i'm not that energised as i did when i talk about Anna and the French Kiss. I do love this book, actually. But i don't want to repeat what i said in Anna to this review. If i didn't care for that, i would have probably copy paste Anna and put it in here. I'm trying to be productive and it's difficult. 

Do i like Lola more than Anna? Hmm... tough question. I loved them both and i enjoyed them and i also adore them. They are beautiful and graceful, it's like they danced in each story, a spectacular dance which you just can't help but enjoy. But i think (REGRETTING SAYING THIS.) i liked Anna more than Lola.

I can't freaking believe i just said that.

BUT I STILL HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK. Its as good as Anna, but i think Anna has more of the feels. I mean, Lola has the feels too, don't get me wrong, but Anna is just- WHY IS THIS SO FREAKING HARD TO EXPLAIN THIS. Anna just got a few points more than this book because of some reasons.

If you have read my review of Anna and the French Kiss, you know that i got this weird buzz when the characters talked or do or- the point is that i got a buzz. In this book, i didn't felt that buzz at all. Lola has more cutesy moments than Anna but Anna has more of the serious moments, but only a slight though. They both tied on awkward moments, which i'm really grateful.

Lola at first was very slow because i missed Anna and her friends and her mind. Not that slow, but slow enough. I'm so glad that i keep reading this book because the story really picks up on after that and, again, i can't stop reading it! I've grown very comfortable after that. But when i read Anna, it picks up at the first moment.

And Anna is more realistic too, at least for me. Anna focuses more on, like, the school. The awkward school moments while Lola focuses on the neighborhood. I'm not that active at neighborhoods, my neighbors are not a teen girl. So i can't relate to that. But Anna is like school moments and i CAN relate to that. But i still love this book, very.

Overall i gave this book a FIVE out of FIVE stars. Even though i loved Anna a bit more, this book deserve the hype and i personally really enjoyed this book. In my number scale, i give this book 94 points. Again, still HIGHLY recommend this book, and also this series. You have to read soon, though, because Isla will come at August which i'm very excited! Hopefully it will be out on my bookstore the same day it'll be released. If not, i'll be furious. Because this series is phenomenal.  

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Your Bookish Identity Tag with LAUREN OLIVER!

Hi guys! First of all, you might be wondering why i haven't posted that much lately. Second, you might notice the new changes in this blog! Yes, after a lot of research, i finally decided to upgrade my blog and be more professional with things. But don't worry, i'm still me! The upgrading part is very hard, so because of that, i can't post anything. But i'm done! Woo-hoo! Now everything will go back to normal... i hope so.

Okay, to start off July, i'm here to bring you a tag. It's called Your Bookish Identity tag! So it's basically just some fun questions that we have to answer. Kat from Katytastic, Catriona from Little Book Owl, and Ben from Benjaminofthomes made this awesome tag. They're awesome, so go check their channels out! They're on YouTube and who doesn't love YouTube?

Check out the tag!

But i'm not going to do this alone, i'm doing this with the lovely, LAUREN OLIVER. She's the author of the Delirium series, which you may know. She's also the author of Before I Fall, Panic, Liesl and Po, The Spindlers, and the new upcoming adult novel, Rooms

I also have done an interview with her on my blog (my very first interview!), which you can read right here. I asked her some questions and she answered it gracefully, so might as well check that out too!

The Tag

So there's exactly seven questions from the original tag, i believe. But we're only going to answer six of those questions. So let's get on it!

1. What dystopian/fantasy world would you like to live in?
Lauren Oliver : Hmmmm... if I lived in the Redwall world, could I be some kind of awesome cute animal? That might be fun!
Me : (I know i should choose Harry Potter, but shocker i haven't read it and that's too mainstream so i'm going to change.) Maybe in the Beautiful Creatures's world. I mean, there's good witches and bad witches like in Oz, right? Isn't that awesome enough? And don't get me started with their powers! There are healers, casters, and our eye colours literally change colours on our sixteenth birthday! 

2. Who would your partner be? 
Lauren Oliver : I might have to go with Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. He was one of my first and truest book crushes. 
Me : This is very hard for me because i was going to say Hermione or Luna Lovegood. But, alas, i haven't read Harry Potter yet. So after a lot of thinking, i'm going with, maybe, Tessa from The Infernal Devices? Or Isabelle. Or Clary. OH OR CRESS FROM THE LUNAR CHRONICLES.

3. Who would be your godly parent? (Percy Jackson)
Lauren Oliver : *Didn't answer this one*
Me : I don't know, actually. No one suits me, i'm all arts about writing and i love painting and drawing. But after i thought about it, maybe Apollo. He's, like, sun and i like day more than night. He's good at archery and i wanna learn archery someday! To be like Katniss, with the badass bow and arrows. And Apollo, i think, likes art? 

4. Would you rather be a Downworlder or a Nephilim? (The Mortal Instruments)
Lauren Oliver : I'd totally want to be a badass Shadowhunter and kick some evil butt!
Me : I'm going to go with Downworlder. Specifically, i wanna be a Warlock. First, they're immortal, who doesn't want immortality? But immortality has its disadvantage, though... Second, MAGIC. I love magic. I recently played The Sims 3 Supernatural, from Vampires, Werewolves, Fairies, and Witches, i liked Witches more. And it fits the world i live in.

5. What House would you live in? (Harry Potter)
Lauren Oliver : Probably Ravenclaw.
Me : So Pottermore put me in Hufflepuff. I'm okay with it at first. But then after i thought about it, Hufflepuff is very crowded. Almost all of us who took Pottermore is Hufflepuff, right? But i convinced myself that i am what pottermore puts me in and i am quiet and good and helping? But i could be a Gryffindor because i'm not that kind either, LOL.

6. What faction would you be in? (Divergent)
Lauren Oliver : Either Dauntless or Candor. 
Me : I really want to be in Amity. Because they are all peace and just healthy living and happy stuff. AND they work in arts too. Again, i'm really artsy and i love painting, drawing, and writing. So it'll be good for me to be in faction, right? AMITY.

And that was the tag! Wow, so much fun. Interesting choices we get from the fantastic, Lauren Oliver. I wish there was more, the questions here are great!

Who I Tag

I don't really have friends here at the book blog community. I don't even know of the community has a name! (Ex. BookTube, YouTubers who discuss books) So i'm just going to tag some people that i admired and they're one of my inspirations that started blogging. So i'm going to tag Rita from Weaving Pages and Ruby from Feed Me Books Now. I really love their blogs and they're just, awesome, so check them out! But if you want to do this tag, i tag you! It's really fun, and i recommend you do it!


About The Author



Lauren Oliver comes from a family of writers and so has always (mistakenly) believed that spending hours in front of the computer everyday, mulling over the difference between "Chortling" and "Chuckling," is normal. She has always been an avid reader.
She attended at University if Chicago, where she continued to be as impractical as possible by majoring in philosophy and literature. After college, she attended MFA program at NYU and worked briefly as the world's worst editorial assistant, and inly marginally better assistant editor, at a major publishing house in New York. Her major career contributions during this time were flouting the corporate dress code at every possible turn and repeatedly breaking the printer. Before I Fall is her first published novel.
She is deeply grateful for the chance to continue writing, as she has never been particularly good at anything else.

      Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins (Book Review)

      Anna and the French Kiss
      Author : Stephanie Perkins
      Series : Anna and the French Kiss #1
      Pub Date : December 2nd 2010
      Publishers : Dutton
      Genre : Romance, Contemporary
      Pages : 372

      Add it in Goodreads | Buy it on Book Depository

      Anna is looking forward to her senior year in Atlanta, where she has a great job, a loyal best friend, and a crush on the verge of becoming more. Which is why she is less than thrilled about being shipped off to boarding school in paris-- until she meets Étienne St. Clair. Smart, charming, beautiful, Étienne has it all... including a serious girlfriend.
      But in the City of Light, wishes have a way of coming true. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with their long-awaited French Kiss?

      Review

      Before you start, i just wanted to warn you that i'm going to gush and fanboy right here. So if you don't like stuff like that, please leave right now. Trust me, you do not want to see me fanboy! Except if you don't mind it then please continue on!

      I LOVED this book! It's like i'm falling in love with the book in a fictional Paris. Darn, why didn't i picked this up earlier? Everyone recommend this to me but i just shrug it off because the title is so feminine. But after reading Isla and the Happily Ever After's plot, i was intrigued and i finally decided to pick it up. And i'm really grateful i picked it up.

      Oh god, i think i'm going to have a reading slump if i don't read Lola and the Boy Next Door soon. Oh god.

      So if i have to describe this book in one word it would be : Phenomenal. Why? Because it's just is. It's super amazing and ugh. I love this book. This book will be in my favourite list, for sure. And i'm totally going to include this on my top 14 books of 2014!

      I never really liked Contemporaries that much, though. But this book change it. I will look at Contemporaries differently now, liked after i finished this book, there's one book called "Better Off Friends" that i didn't really care but now i'm curious. I can see myself loving contemporaries in the near future.

      Okay, now let's discuss. Get it together, it's not the time to gush! Okay, this book was epic and very, very realistic. It's probably what i loved more in this book, the realisticness of the story. When i was reading, i can relate to her, i can relate to Anna. It's about school and love and awkwardness, you're going to love it.

      The characters are very charming, indeed. Anna already grab me when she said : "Here is everything i know about France : Madeline and Amélie and Moulin Rouge." Can't you just love her from the start? She's definitely my favourite character in the book. Anna can sometimes be annoying and frustrating, though... but in a good way.

      Although i really loved some characters, there's some that i hate so, so much. Which is good! I don't really like books that only have favorable characters in it. But Stephanie Perkins played with the characters so we feel a burning sensation to some of them. Every characters has it on "buzz" so it's like different peoples collide in this story.

      The romance in here was EPIC. OTP forever, surely. Oh god, epic fanboy what i just said. Anyway, the romance here was probably the one i will like most. It's not like your typical-couple but it's more graceful and awkward, it's like a rhythm that made you want to dance and i just loved them both. Those awkward moments together.. awww! If i could go into the book, i would hug them fiercely. When they laugh together, when they're happy, i almost fainted.

      The characters cracks me up. Their dialogues and what they do, especially Anna. We hear her midn since it's Anna's POV and the way she talks to her mind. The way she handles capslock in her mind. You'll find very loveable quotes in here.

      The message here is clearly seen. I learn something in this book. I thought about friendship, i thought about love, i thought about family and life. You just can't help feeling it stirring inside of you and, like, for a second you'll think of what will we do if we were Anna. Anna has an amazing journey.

      There's some scenes where i just, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENS. There's plot twist and sudden realisation that just made you feel so shocked about it. Even i did that, i gasped when i read the book because WHAT? and then when the scene it's over you're like "What just happened?"

      I. Can't. Look. Away. From. The. Book. It's like there's a glue or something that keeping me reading this book. I read it around 2 or 3 days and in the final day, i read it around 7 or 8 am and i finished it in 2 pm and the best thing is that i didn't stop. I kept reading and reading and reading and boom it's over. It left me awed there because reality just sinks in for me.

      As i said before, it's very realistic. So Anna is transferred into a new school and i don't know about you but i felt that before. I know what it felt like to be sweep up and left you in this bizarre world, alone. It's not a kind memory, but for this book, it's totally worth it. Very, very relatable. 

      The only thing that i didn't liked is that I REALLY NEED A SEQUEL PLEASE. I know in Isla that we're going to meet some familiar faces but i just need it. Like the aftermath after what happens and i wanna know their next journey. I just really need it. Stephanie Perkins can made that, right? No? What do you mean, no?

      But the ending. THE ENDING. THE ENDING. The ending is the highlight of the book. Its where the feels just like explode and circled you. You'll get a twinge of... something strange in your heart and you will enjoyed it. Oh goodness, the ending. The best show of the night. 

      At the ending, you will smile like a maniac. At times, you will maybe cry. I'm not a book cry-er, but if i am, i would probably already cry by now. There's this scene where Anna and this and that and ugh. You will be satisfied, yes, satisfied. Maybe you'll get angry too and you probably feel pity to a character. 

      And the ending is the most realistic of all scenes. Well.. maybe for some of us. Have you ever felt like something just, like, appears inside and you get this strange feeling. And you heart is thumping and it doesn't stop until it really is over? That's how i felt about it. I'm so lame at describing things so to feel it, you have to read the book yourself.

      "Words cannot express how i feel towards this book."

      FIVE out of FIVE stars. No excuses, no hesitation. In my number scale, i would give it a 98 points! I would probably give it 100 but it's like saying this book is flawless and it has its little flaws in it but i still did really, really enjoyed it. If i'm so going to reread this sooner, it's probably before i read Isla. Stephanie Perkins' writing style was very enjoyable and somewhat graceful and beautiful and i'm excited to read her next works. If you're still not convinced, i would hit you with a hammer.

      Friday, July 4, 2014

      Delirium (Pilot Review)

      Delirium
      Director : Rodrigo García
      Starring : Emma Roberts, Gregg Sulking, Daren Kagasoff, Jeanine Mason, etc.
      Based on : Lauren Oliver's Delirium
      Release Date : June 20 2014
      Running Time : 43 Minutes


      Watch the Pilot | Buy the book on Book Depository

      Ninety-five days, and then i'll be safe. I wonder whether the procedure will hurt. I want to get it over with. It's hard to be patient. It's hard not to be afraid while i'm still uncured, though so far the deliria hasn't touch me yet. Still, i worry. They say that in the old days, love drove people to madness. The deadliest of all things : It kills you both when you have it and don't.

      Review

      Before you start, i just wanted to tell you to be careful if you haven't read Delirium. I don't know if i'm going to spoil you or not. I'll be as quiet as i can but i'm going to compare the pilot with the book a bit. So i recommend you leave if you haven't read Delirium. A little side note, i've interviewed Lauren Oliver, the author Delirium! You can read it right here, i hope you enjoy it!

      This pilot has mixed reviews. Some hate it, some love it. Me? I don't know. I'm like in the middle, i don't hate it, but on the other hand, i didn't love it either. 

      This pilot was... like critics, i have a mixed feelings towards it. Some of it i really love, and some of it i disliked. I disliked it mostly because it's very confusing, if you haven't read the book- i mean, it's okay if you haven't read the book, it just defines you more when you read it. As i said, if you haven't read the book you'll maybe get confused for a second.

      I don't know if i was wrong but aren't pilots, like, the first episode in a TV series? Or am i wrong? Or is it like the overall story of the TV series mixed into one episode? I didn't really get it when the credits rolled on. I thought it was going to be longer, i didn't expect to see the end at the pilot. I didn't expect to see 441 pages being translated into 43 minutes.

      I know that i should trust the director, trust everyone who's working on the project but i just can't help it. Wait. or OR OR OR. Maybe i get it now, maybe they want to translate the whole trilogy to the TV series? I hope so! But if they were going to do that, delirium should've been translated into, like, 2 episodes? or 3?

      Let's talk about the characters for a moment. So i love Lena. I really loved Emma Roberts as her, she'd done a decent acting and i'm proud of her. I pictured Lena in Delirium a bit more skinnier and just a little bit tiny, which is a bit horrible. But seeing this, i'm glad she doesn't look like the girl i pictured. 

      The romance in here is a bit strange, but okay. It's like the type of romance that, like, love at first sight. I mean, Lena's okay, she's normal. But Alex on the other hand. I didn't remember there being a "love at first sight" in the book at all. The directors could have changed it like maybe into something more realistic but i'm okay.

      I didn't really liked Alex in this movie. Not just because the first sight thing. He did a good acting, i can feel his emotion. But something was a little bit off. In the book, i can sensed his fear and his love and also his passion. In this pilot, he didn't grab me like the words do.

      The other actors was fine, actually. I loved Hana and Julian! I ship them together and i'm so happy they've been paired up as a couple in this TV series. When Julian spied on her- i was laughing. And then Hana was like "What the heck?!" oh god. But i didn't really liked Julian's dad. He's calm in here, but then he just burst like a maniac. It's like he is scripted.

      There are changes in this show. I didn't understand why. Like for instance, Lena's mom is the one who is imprisoned. I don't understand why did they changed it to her father. Why? But at some aspects i can understand. Like Alex get close to Lena because she is Conrad's daughter. It's good. I don't remember why Alex get close to Lena, it's been awhile since i read Delirium.

      Did you guys notice the shaky camera? Well, i did! At times, it's shaking when it's moving. I mean, it's like an unprofessional cameramen was filming it. It was supposed to capture the scene beautifully but instead it's like there's an earthquake or something. I didn't like that.

      There's some scenes where i was gaping. Like "You just not did that!" I mean, i have read the scenes but i'm still surprised because in this pilot, it's like they're more alive. It doesn't mean the Delirium book characters aren't alive, it's alive! But it's like the words danced between them. What i'm saying is Lena and Hana. The words moved.

      It may take awhile to absorb the whole world, the current situation because we have to make a soft spot for we to sit and examine. If you've read Delirium, you already get it from the start. But maybe they just make the world hidden so they can explain it more on future episodes? But Fox didn't picked it up. *Grunts*

      Last but not least, the ending. In the book, this scene was the highlight of the book. My heart was thumping and i was picturing a more crowded scene. The ending in this pilot didn't really like wow me, it's not as epic as in the book. I was picturing Lena more shocked and fear filled her eyes while Alex was just.. blood and standing frozen.

      Overall i gave this pilot a THREE AND A HALF out of FIVE stars. In my number scale, i gave it 67 points. It was good, but it left me confused. I was starving for more and i need a sequel... sort of. But i can understand why Fox didn't picked it up. After watching this, i think i might reread Delirium, who knows?